Cancer No More

I became a missionary in 2000, I was young, dynamic, and out to conquer the whole world for Him. I have given so much in that desire to follow Jesus, future career as a doctor, dream car and house. I have surrendered to Him all that I have because i wanted to follow Him. God said in Jeremiah 29:11 “ for I know well the plans I have in mind says the Lord, plans for your welfare not for woe, plans to give us a future full of Hope”. This statement I hold close to my heart that God has something greater ahead. But what happen after that yes to God is just overwhelming, and to top it all, is the discovery of knowing that my dad is sick of cancer, 3rd stage. My whole self totally collapse, I cannot imagine that this is the reward of saying yes to following Him. I felt abandoned by God, I felt that God is not existing, that my yes is a big mistake. During that time, all my three sisters are all studying in big schools and university, you can imagine the amount of money we need, this is also the same season when CAP (College Assurance Plan) collapses. Being the eldest, I was supposed to be the one to help not just physically but financially, but I cannot do any, simple reason, I don’t have the money. I would caught myself begging God for help, I would caught myself complaining to Him. This moment in my life has brought me to some many learning’s that I carry till today, I realized that in those moment that I felt betrayed by God, abandoned, left alone, God is preparing me for something greater, that God is teaching me to learn trust, surrender and faith, that God is teaching me a very special lesson, and that is to obey without counting the cost, after all, He knows better and He never left me. When I learned to let go of my guards, to acknowledge that I cannot do anything, that I am weak, that my strength is Him alone, He started to manifest His mercy and compassion. April of 2002 my father was diagnosed of cancer, December of 2002, he is totally healed from cancer, and up till today, very alive, a practicing pediatric doctor, playing tennis, and serving the Church as a lay minister. My 3 sisters are all done in college and enjoying a wonderful career in their chosen field and profession. I have continued to be a missionary, sent in different parts of the world and the Philippines sharing and testifying on Gods unending, boundless, limitless love, mercy and compassion. God is calling us to be His, Gods desire is for us to experience His ways and for us to learn to surrender our own ways. He is a God who is in control, involved and who journeys with us. He is a God whose kind of loving is total giving of oneself. He is inviting us to do the same. I learned my lesson in the process, I realized that God is working in every little detail of our lives, obviously, the miracle is healing and providence, but the truth is, miracle is the change the God has done in my way of believing and trusting is Him. We are being called to live for Him. To follow Him without counting the cost.